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This message has been around and around the internet for years, but I have been saying it and living it since before social media hit the internet.

I decided when I was in my early 20’s that I would follow my heart and have never shied away from trying something new or different. For most of my life I listened to my mom share what she regretted never doing, never having, never being. Mom lived a life of lack and didn’t seem to be happy very often. Money was always a struggle and she’d often be quoted as saying, “Champagne tastes on a beer budget” and no matter what my dad did for work, it was never enough. Mom was stuck in the “got to keep up with the Jones’s” mindset and so was never satisfied.

In her last few months of life she lived with us and I remember the day she finally got the news that she had cancer. She cried, she ranted, she railed and then began a litany of “I just want another 10 years!” that lasted until the day she finally died. We had many heated discussions about “Why me” as I always held her accountable for her choices and decisions. Near the end of her days, she admitted that she knew I was right and she was glad I’d made her face some of the things she had done and choices she’d made. It was the toughest thing I’d ever had to do but I would not buy into her self pity, woe is me attitude. We did make our peace and she passed the night after our last conversation. I admit I was devastated but I knew she was in a better place. No more pain, no more sadness.

I recommitted then and there, that now more than ever, I would NOT go to my grave regretting never trying something. Obviously I do have regrets about some things that have happened in my life, but each and every thing I have tried or experienced has led me to a full and happy life. And as crazy as some of it has been, I am grateful for each and every ‘crazy’ thing I’ve ever done.

Square peg in a round hole and loving it 🙂

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